Social disobedience: Boy romains happy!

"Phillip is a bright pupil. He is well integrated into the class community, his classmates accept and respect him. He treats things that don't belong to him well, but should become more careful with his own work equipment. He usually shows himself to be helpful and committed. He takes an active part during lessons and his contributions advance the topics. In team work assignments he should improve his interactions with his team mates. In individual assignments he often does not have pen and paper at hand.
Dialog with parents wanted: No."

This is a part from Phillip's school report. He is nine years old and just finished 3rd grade ‐ successfully! His parents ‐ both academics ‐ are happy with his grades, but the the written report about their son worries them. Does he really sometimes refuse participation? And what does it mean, that he is not good at team assignments? What really makes them angry, though, is that their son still manages ‐ even though he is strictly supervised ‐ to go to school without homework. That he doesn't always follow the orders of his teacher does not worry them too much, she can be very enervating at times. And he only is in third, oh no, fourth grade now. He still has time to learn his lessons about respect. All in all, Phillip will likely earn mostly praise and only a little bit of critique for his report. And a five Euro note, like every year.

Now we know how Phillip's parents react to his school report, but what does it tell us about him? It covers all important aspects of his conduct in school: His social competencies, his intelligence, his knowledge and his work behavior. In short: Everything of relevance for his future professional life. But what about his personality? Why does he behave the way he does? What about is hopes, goals and dreams? This text, that is oh so important to his parents, says nothing about that. Does he like school? Does he have friends there? What makes him refuse his teacher's orders? And why does he still not do his homework on a regular basis?

Let's see what a typical day in Phillip's life looks like:
A bright flash of light, the creak of a door. Phillip's mom sticks her head through the door: "Phillip! Time to get up!" Tired and reluctant he rubs his eyes. "Already?", he thinks. Indeed, the sun is shining, as he painfully notices as his mom pulls up the shutters and the light pierces his eyes like needles, but for him it is still way too early. His inner clock ticks very different to the one at his wall.

Like every morning, he struggles out of his bed, which feels way too comfortable to leave it, anyway, and goes to the bathroom to wet his toothbrush for his mother. He hardly ever actually brushes his teeth in the morning ‐ there are more important things to be done. Like reading the cartoon that is still lying on the bathroom floor. 15 minutes later he puts the book away and starts to dress himself, with what, he doesn't care. After having his morning muesli, he puts on shoes and ‐ grudgingly ‐ a jacket and checks the time, again. He still has five minutes, before he has to go. Relieved he throws himself on the couch and looks out the window. The sun is shining, the sky is blue and he can hear the song of the blackbirds through an open window. He loves these sounds. Each year, they are among the first signs of the approaching spring. Outside, at the pond, the first insects are bustling about the blossoms of daffodils, tulips and primroses that he and his mother planted there a few days ago. Phillip is very interested in plants and animals. Sometimes, he considers becoming a gardener later on. But, according to his sources, they don't earn a lot of money. Maybe it's better to keep looking. After watching a sparrow taking a drink ‐ interesting, the way he takes the water into his beak, lifts up his head and lets the water run down his throat ‐ he looks at the clock again. Oh boy, now he's gotta hurry!

Out of breath he steps through the doors of his school, leaving the delicate scents of the first flowers and the warming rays of sunlight behind and walks through musty corridors to his classroom. Today, he participates well in class, until the fourth lesson, which is art with Mrs. Mayer. This woman is so annoying! She explains everything five times and treats everyone like a kindergarden kid. When he finally, at the start of the sixth lesson, heads to the math class with a slight headache, his feeling of elation from the morning is gone. He just wants to go home. He is thirsty, because he's run out of water. Also, he can't focus anymore. And he doesn't need to, the topic is simple, bleak and unnecessary. That's why he only solves part of the exercise sheet, doing more is impossible at 25 °C and the sun on the back of his head!

When he finally arrives at home, he first throws himself on his bed to relax. After lunch ‐ today it was delicious ‐ his strength is recovered and he and his younger brother go outside to play. Together with two friends they cycle into an area they don't know, yet, and silently explore a small forest. A few flowers are growing there, which Phillip doesn't know, yet. He memorizes their appearance, to be able to describe them to his mom, later on. Maybe she knows their name?

Back at home, they first drink something and have some icecream. Then they play together a little while longer, until Phillip suddenly remembers something: He still has to do his homework! Luckily, it's not that much today, and only takes him an hour. Afterwards, he's back outside ‐ inline skating. He loves to dart around on them, whith the wind blowing through his hair. Then, in the middle of the day, his mom calls him to her: "Phillip! It's seven o'clock! Time to come inside!". Sad, he complies and they have dinner, before getting ready for the night. When he's lying bed at half past eight, he can't sleep. The matress is way too warm and soft. And so he ponders the experiences of the day and plans what he wants to do tomorrow. He wants to go back to that forest, to explore the rest of it. How annoying, that he has to go to school before that!

Now, we've gotten to know Phillip a bit better and have a better picture of him. And does the impression that his school report gave us not fade a little, in this new light? When we get to know Phillips interests and opinions, is everyday life from his perspective, we can understand his actions much better! His occasional unwillingness in school, his conduct with his teachers. Sure, there are certain things a kid needs to learn, like reading, writing and mathematics. But they should also have the freedom to occupy themselves with other things. Things that interest them, as is the case in some private schools, already. Because in our school system, every action is tied to an evaluation. They are categorized in the good and the bad. In those that will become something great, and those that won't. In those that will be successful and happy, and those that will clean their toilets! That leaves little room for dreams, and those who do it anyway, instead of studying, will surely be inculcated with a bad conscience, sooner or later! But such duties, like school, are always portrayed as extraordinarily important, as essential for our future success, as the basis for a happy and satisfying life...

Planning for the future and living by strict rules is something we can still do, once we're grown up. But the ability to dream and to live that dream is something that we slowly lose! As a child one can still believe in a good, liberal world, free from dangers! One is sheltered by his parents and free from prejudice. One is curious, energetic and inspirable. Every day, one wants to experience something new and is free from the shackles of fixed rules of conduct. The spirit is still flexible and moldable and not grown rigid with age. One is free ‐ in spirit and in body ‐ because one has not recognized his own limits. We lose that freedom, when we become adults and have to find our role in society. We are told over and over again how important it is to know our own goals and ideas, but this systematic individualization is doomed to fail. Because where does it happen? In school! How paradox! My esteem to the person who came up with the idea to impart individuality on groups! We pen our kids into classes of up to thirty, teach them identical knowledge and identical codes of conduct, and then call for individuality! Even more ridiculous appear other attempts to make children do what they want. Some big shot at the "Volksbank" (german bank) had the idea that it was important to make the company popular among kids and youths. From that resulted the well thought through lettering on the debit cards of young customers: "Be cool ‐ be different!" Especially in this age most kids pursue this "coolness". No matter why, if someone is popular, he is "cool". But, if everyone is cool, how can they be different? All these calls for individuality are in vain. They die away beside the rumbling of the machinery of conformity! To most parents, the good grades of their children are more important than their pleasure and are often rewarded with money. Everyone knows the (german) saying: "Erst the Arbeit, dann das Vergnügen" ("Work before pleasure"). And the daydreamers of our society get derogatory comments way too often. As long as we are young, healthy, happy and thus efficient we're supposed to study, cram, work, slog away and make a profit. Only when we're old, tired and physically deteriorated can we really enjoy economic freedom! And so it takes real courage to dream, to do just what one wants, just for the sake of the thing itself.

But our whole life is built on dreams, that's the opinion of Julia Krebber, as she writes in her text "Jeden Tag spontan leben" ("live every day spotaneously"). And even if we run the danger of losing our footing when we dream too boldly, she and I have one thing in common: The motto "No risk, no fun!" And everyone who shares this sentiment finds reassurance in the works of free spirits who came before us, like Hermann Hesse, who postulated before 1963 that the young must live according to their own beliefs and to free themselves from everything old, rotten and hampering that was there. Hesse is of the opinion that, no matter how impressive the deeds of older generations were, no matter how much responsibility rests upon us and which duties we might have, all of this has to be nothing next to the one feeling: We are here, we are young, we want the good, the better, the only! We should face life with enthusiasm, instead of letting ourselves be crushed by it!

Joachim Sondern communicates a similar message in is text "Jugend im Käfig ‐ Freiheit genommen" ("Youth in a cage ‐ freedom taken"), but he refers to to an power, a cage, that keeps us away from the true joys of life. He may have trouble finding concrete words for it ‐ his designs mostly remain suggestions ‐ but they contain a deep and difficult to grasp truth. He says that humans, based on fear and uncertainty, have created for themselves an illusion, a obscure construct, a labyrinth. This illusion, he says, is like a veil, embossed with irony and prejudice, that separates us from his slightly diffusely formulated answers of human sanity. Inferring from the rest of the text, he seems to refer to answers to elementary questions regarding the human being; to his innermost essence, his duties, goals and maybe the meaning of life itself?! The answers to these questions are difficult to put into words, everyone must find them for himself and maybe there is no unique, universal answer that applies to everyone. Some people may search for these answers in religion, some in the natural sciences, and others in psychology. According to Sondern, the quest for these answers can bring us to our emotional limits, they require consistency and may lead us to realizations that many of us don't want to see or hear. And still, Sondern appeals to the reader to search for these answers, because they are the key to a life without pressure, help us to stay true to our visions and keep us from being integrated into the "chain of function" because they give us a justification to exist outside of it. A justification for a life as a dreamer. And as a dreamer we can search for goals that exceed the fulfillment of duties.

But what are those goals that are worth striving for? Surely, everyone must decide for himself what he wants. Most young people of our time strive for goals like friendship, family, automony and creativity. But also diligence, ambition and a high standard of living and own necessities, as well as solidarity with the less fortunate are important to the adolescent and young adults, according to the "Shell Jugendstudie" ("Shell study of youth") from 2010.

And so I appeal to you as a reader: Break out of your emotional cage! Find the goals, that really mean something to you! Have the courage to dream! Live your dream, no matter what it is! Imagine, your life is being written down and will be read by others. Live, so that this book inspires, because the protagonist has lived a dream!